Tag Archives: Humor

Need An Excuse To Go To Vegas?? Invent A Convention!!

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My next trip to Vegas will be boys only.  My wife is my main Vegas partner, and my son has been there twice even though he just turned 2.  I just feel the need to Vegas it up with the boys this time, and have some drinks, but not change diapers.  I’m celebrating a milestone birthday, and for me, that was enough of an excuse to do it.

If I want my boys to go, it’s another story.  We got to an age where we didn’t have to ask our parents for permission to do things.  That passed by in a flash, and now we’re back to asking for permission again, but from our spouses this time.  Based on what’s going on with the children, the money, the vacation time, the money, it’s not too easy to get everyone on the same page at the same time to pull off one of these trips.

I’m not blaming the spouses either.  It’s tough to have to work and take care of kids with no help while your other half is in Sin City doing God knows what.  I understand.  For the wives to sign off on this, we might need to create the illusion that we’re doing this for a purpose.  Something other than to just waste money and act like fools.  Something that might just benefit the aforementioned spouses.  I call it “The Better Husbands Convention”.  Thousands of conventions are held in Las Vegas every year.  Some far less believable than this one.

Intrigued???  Read the pitch……

Do you need your husband to be………. better?  A better listener?  Better at doing chores in a timely fashion?  More attentive?  Less of a football watcher?  A better cook?  A guy that makes the bed, and puts stuff away?  Less stressed out?  More stressed out?  Colour coordinated?  Willing to watch more Rom-Coms?  Better with the kids?  More of a handyman?  More agreeable to your suggestions?……. For this and MUCH MUCH more, make sure he attends “The Better Husbands Convention” in Fabulous Las Vegas Nevada!  For 4 nights and 5 gruelling days at the (favorite hotel on the strip) convention center, we will break your husband down and analyze everything that’s wrong with him.  Then we begin the healing process.  Our husband improvement experts will work closely with him in HI (husband improvement) workshops such as “Stop being such a crappy husband”, “Being better than you are currently” and “Let’s talk about our feelings”.  Isn’t it time you gave him the resources he needs to be the husband you need?  You need to send him to Las Vegas for “The Better Husbands Convention”.  Let’s set him on the right path!

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What do you think about that?  Ladies, would you let your man go to Vegas to attend this fictitious event?  We’ll see if it works.  If even one poor bugger gets a Vegas trip out of this, then I’ve served my purpose!

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Vegas Blintrog

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Ladies and Gentlemen……

A blintrog is a word I created that means intro blog.  It’s almost like I’m intentionally starting new blogs just for the sake of using that word over and over again.  I kind of stated why I’m here in the ‘about’ section, however I believe strongly that most of you will never read the ‘about’ section, so I will just repeat information hoping that it isn’t redundant for most of you.

I’m here because I love going to Las Vegas.  It’s a bizarre love affair that started well into my 30s.  I say bizarre because some of the first things that come to mind when we think of Vegas are gambling, drinking, clubbing, prostitution etc….. at least that’s what came into my mind.  The truth is that aside from really enjoying the freedom of drinking a bottle of beer on the sidewalk, I don’t partake in a lot of that stuff.  Yet somehow, I have a blast every time I go.  I’ve been there 6 times now, and I keep thinking about what I’ll do the next time I go.  There are a lot of like-minded people who go to Vegas all the time either because they love gambling, or just because it seems to be a cheap getaway as far as getaways go.  There are also a lot of people who watch the ‘Hangover’ movies and think that unless you are going on an absolute bender, then Vegas would have nothing for them.  It’s those people I try to convert.  Anytime the conversation comes up at a get-together, or chatting with co-workers, I always find myself selling it to people or trying to convert non-believers.  There are so many things to do there, and I think it doesn’t get enough credit for all of the amazing restaurants, bars, shops, shows, and overall entertainment.  Yes it’s Sin City…. yes there are people on the sidewalks passing out business cards for prostitutes…… I’m not suggesting that there can’t be some Fear and Loathing involved.  I just want everyone to know that there’s more to it.  I want you to go, and I want to help plan your trip, and I believe that there is a perfect trip for everyone, no matter what your tastes are.

The most efficient way to do this is by writing a blog.  Something I have a bit of experience with (ahem ahem www.thoughtsandrantsinjoggingpants.com – please drop by if you haven’t already, pardon the plug… the internet is a cruel, cruel world), and I figured I could share some experiences as well as review some places I’ve been to.  When I say ‘review’, I don’t mean that I’m going to be a critic….. I don’t think it will be all fluff pieces either, but if I don’t like something, or at least find it interesting, I probably won’t waste time writing about it.

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Speaking of wasting time, isn’t that what this blog is?  I already have a tough enough time keeping up with one blog.  My wife isn’t going to be happy with this.  Unless….. I could….. somehow….. get paid for it.  Probably not going to happen, but stay tuned.  If I get enough of a following, who knows??  I dream of a day when some Vegas entity or another says, ‘hey Ryan…. Great Blog!!!  Thanks for writing about us….. Here’s 3 free nights at *** hotel, and a resort voucher.’  Then I can take my wife to Vegas to see more stuff, and I know she’ll forgive me at that point!  This plan isfool-proof!!!  Pay Me Vegas!!!!  Pay ME!!!!!!!!  Until then, I hope you enjoy my Vegas stories, and reviews 🙂